MalibuandMilk

So I was 16 years old and in college and I was minding my own eating a chocolate muffin (I'm forever eating) anyway my girl gives me a note saying its from Chin Dimple Guy*  and I'm like - notes are so primary school but I was intrested seeing as I had a crush on this guy. He had a chin dimple and nice canerows (yes, I was easy to please) 
Anyhoo I read his note and no word of lie this is what it said "Babes, Manz wants to take you out still - and I know you on it" 
Looking back I shoulda screwed up the note there and then but no…I told him he could take me out lol 
We both didn't have college on a Friday, so that was the day we picked. So I was excited about my date with Chin Dimple Boy - I made on effort, spent EMA on a new dress lol. 
Anyway we had arranged to meet at Ilford Station. I thought he was going to take me to Coco Noodle Bar or Nandos (there is a Pizza Hut too but eveybody knows I hate pizza) as those were the only two decent restaurants in Ilford.
Anyway so I'm standing at the station and I see him rocking up and I'm like God in heaven above no way!!!
What came to mind when I first saw him was "cause I'm looking like class & you looking like trash…"
His normally canerowed hair was half canerowed and the other half made Side Show Bobs hair looked like it was laid for the angels.
He was wearing a DIRTY, UNIRONED Lonsdale track suit AND it had a hole in it!!! He had crust in the corners of his mouth and eyes :( 
I was like God, this because I didn't go Church last Sunday, you're punishing me, init?
Chin Dimple goes to kiss me! I pretend to sneeze lmao. So he hugs me instead he stunk of B.0 and weed :/ 
Anyway we cross the road we walk past Coco Noodle Bar and Pizza Hut and KFC. There is one more restaurant on this strip and let me tell you now I already felt like crying. 
We continued to walk and then we come to a stop!
We are outside McDonalds!! 
I'm thinking of ways to get out of this and his holding my hand leading inside.
My face said it all
This fool had the nerve to ask: "What's wrong? Don't you want a HAPPY MEAL?"
Not even a Big Mac a Happy Meal (these were the days they only cost £1.99)
"No, I don't want a fucking happy meal - you wasteman"
"Who you calling waste you STOOSH bitch"
At this point I was beyond livid. However I was never one to make a scene. So I kissed my teeth turned and left without a word.
This boy proceeds to shout out my name for all of McDonalds and Ilford High Street to hear.
Later on he text me saying he was sorry and that next time he would take me to KFC.
I spent the rest of my college life avoiding him.
I wish I was making this up but sadly it's the truth. 

The Cheat

So it's my birthday I believe it's my 19th, me and the girls go to TGI Fridays as you do. Anyway we had this beautiful waiter (sigh) he sung me a special rendition of Happy Birthday and gave me peck on the cheek (screams) anyway we exchange numbers and start texting, the usual flirty banter. Anyway after about a week we set up to go out. We meet up in Central and go to Trocodero and I'm having a real nice time. 
All of a sudden he's phone starts going crazy! I mean calls every second - now here's me thinking he is trying to be polite by not answering the calls. So I tell him that it's okay he can take his call. He tells me that it wants to focus on me (looking back it was such a bullshit line but again I was like awww) anyway so the date ended with a peck and a hug. 
TWO, TWOs, NOW *Lethal B Voice* I'm getting calls off private number - a lot!!!
Then the text start  saying ish like: stay away from man you sket!!! 
I ring back the number and I'm like:
"Who is this?"
She's like "You ringing me- who are you?"
I'm beyond irritated 
"You text me calling me a sket"
"Oh it's you, yeah why are you out with my man, can't you get your own?"
"Whose your man"
"TGI guy"
I went silent, this boy had a girl, all the phone calls made sense,
I explained to her what happened, obviously she didn't believe she was on a HYPE. Telling me she was from South and I shoudn't mess with people from South and I was gonna get moved to and blah, blah, blah 
I call TGI boy and say "So you got a girl yeah"
He hangs up 
I ring back, his phone switched off and it stayed switched off.

Trust there is more, these two are some of the more funnier 'shocking ones I guess lol.

You live and you learn!

So tell me whats been your worst date - I wanna know 

malibuanmilk